The Art of Being Unseen

The Situation

I attended a comedy show last night and I realized something. How utterly plain my life is. It has gotten to a point where even if I fake that life is interesting and I am living a secret superhero's life, the world denies it. I sat alone in a chess horse position from everybody.

Sundeep Sharma is the best comedian man!

The Crisis

It is as simple as in and out. Input and output. There are phases where I myself trip in and out of my own existence but that is hardly anywhere close to the existential crisis that I have when I wake up.

What did I learn in the comedy show? Well when you are too alone, you can be identified as a creep. couples avoided to even sit near me. Even though i was donning the corporate slavery uniform. It was not me that was actually repulsive to them. It was the idea. The realization of the void and the blankness that lurks in the background. I am just a layer away from it. Why? Because i deny the system. In a pure nihilistic sense of things. I deny the monkey like primal rituals of clothing and make up, of pleasant conversations and persiflage. Being near the event horizon is pretty scary, but there is an undeniable peace. We all will end up there. There is nothing to be sad about it. Matter of fact, the happiest people in the world, altruistic monks, whose denial of the system is celebrated and worshiped, have accepted this fact are are way ahead in this line. The last cue, the final traffic jam.

Ajay Sampson, cracked a joke about people dying of different brands of cigarette and meeting in afterlife to discuss which brand killed them. It's not just smoking. Everything is contributing to it. Our own existence is a party to annihilate itself. It would hardly matter, it will be in the credits of your life. May be a "Gold Sponsor" at best. How does it even matter? 

The people that avoid conversation with me do not have an issue with me, but with the fact that I sit so close to the edge that they may fall. I have mastered the art. I am not a secret Schizoid, nor am I sad or depressed, no.I am happy as a bumblebee, but I have realized the truth and have the balls to accept it. But just like everyone else, I am caught up deep in maya. I have my parts to play and I shall do a damn good job. This blunt and open acceptance of truth is disturbing to everyone. There is a sense that I may ruin a party, In this case the comedy show. But what I do, is just reek of truth. If you come near to me you will witness your personal existential crisis. That scares people. It opens gates for deeper philosophical conversation that people deem as "heavy" and suited only over whiskey. The fact here which everyone misses, questioning your own existence is the main conversation. Rest everything can be classified as small talk, except for science of course, we need some rules!

"I" is the issue.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKR-HydGohQ

With every passing day, we are loaded with more and more data, more loops that act like eddies int he river of time that hold us, that makes our primal ancient brains think that all this has meaning. But at the end of it. What you see is all there is.